Cheap bottle, filled with cheap liquor, sat on a table in a cheap looking bar, looking craftily at a bedraggled man hunched in front. “Cheers!” said the cheap bottle of yellow fire.

 “Hic,” said the man. “Burp, hic, burp, slurp!”

 “Enjoying me huh?” asked the bottle sensuously.

 “You swine!” said the man, frothing round the mouth.

 “Now, now,” said the bottle, “is that any way to talk to your only friend?”

 “You…… you made all my friends desert me,” whispered the man.

 “Well they left you when they found you were so in love with me, didn’t they?”

 “You seduced me,” shouted the man as he tilted the bottle and swallowed the fire within. “I just wanted one sip, that’s all…”

 “I am nobody’s one night stand,” said the bottle proudly. “Once I put my arms around you, I become a life time lover!”

 “I hate you!”

 “Because you can’t do anymore without me. I control you. You are my slave, my servant, my vassal for life!”

 “Nooooo…” wailed the poor man.


“Try! Try to live a day without me. You have, haven’t you? Promises to your mother before she died broken hearted, your wife before she deserted you, your children before they starved to death, but you came back to me..”

 “Hic, hic, burp, hic, hic…”

 “Easy my boy, easy, we have the whole evening ahead, and the night and the morning. I love you, but I don’t want to spend daylight in the gutter. Night in the filth and slush is good enough, but day time in the same slime is oh such a waste of good drinking time!”

 “I am dying, my liver is no more,” cried the man.

 “Oh you poor chap, here, let me caress you, love you. Here, feel my warmth, let me nuzzle down your throat.”

 “I curse the day I met you!”

 “Tut! Tut! Such words! Such temper! After all I’ve done for you. I was there when you were fired from your job. I gave you comfort at your children’s funerals. I consoled you when your wife left you. I brought you solace, gave you support, soothed your ego and cheered you on to the next bar and the next bottle and the next sip..”

 “I will smash you, you treacherous traitor. Look what I can do to you. You will lie broken: A thousand pieces of glass!”

 “Your trembling hand can hardly lift me up. Not out of lack of strength, but will. You are my slave, my lover, see how I kiss and fondle, touch and stroke you my dearest. I love you and will be with you till death do us part. Ah my love, my cherished one, I have tentacled myself into your very soul. It was love at first sip my beloved!” laughed the bottle mirthlessly, winking at the bar owner..!

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