It was a midnight call that woke me ten years ago. A call from my wife who was on holiday in New York, “Bob, mummy passed away in her sleep!”

I was devastated. I was alone at home, with the whole family in America. “Ma,” I cried, “I’m sorry I didn’t come with the others to visit you!”

These and other cries came out of my grief-stricken mind.

I didn’t even want to get up from my bed as I lay weeping, and then in the morning the doorbell rang. I opened the door to find a sardar family outside, “We are supposed to stay with you!” said the old man.

“With me?” I wanted to cry, “Leave me alone, I have lost my mother!” And then I looked at their weary faces. I remembered I had told my friend my place was available for his guests to stay during his nephew’s wedding. “Come in!” I whispered and then for the next two days looked after them. I’m not saying my grief went away, but in their happiness, there was solace. All I did was make coffee in the morning for them, see their rooms were comfortable, that my dog did not disturb their little differently abled son, and did I feel my mother smiling?

There’s this story about a beautiful, rich lady who complained to her psychiatrist that she felt her whole life was empty, it had no meaning.

The counsellor called over Mary, the old lady who cleaned the office floors and told her to tell the depressed lady her story: "Well, my husband died of malaria and three months later my only son was killed by a car. I had nobody. I had nothing left. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I never smiled at anyone, I even thought of taking my own life. Then one evening a little kitten followed me home. It was cold outside, so I decided to let the kitten in. I got some milk, and the kitten licked the plate clean. Then it purred and rubbed against my leg and, for the first time in months, I smiled.

Then I stopped to think, if helping a little kitten could make me smile, maybe doing something for people could make me happy. So, the next day I baked some biscuits and took them to a neighbour who was sick in bed. Every day I tried to do something nice for someone. It made me so happy to see them happy.

Today, I don't know of anybody who sleeps and eats better than I do. I've found happiness, by giving it to others." the cleaning lady said smiling, "Your grief might not go away fully, but there's a new joy in your life!"

Yes, dear friend, in your deepest grief, making others happy, can be the comfort you need!

“Ma, is that you smiling?” 

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.