“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking! We are finding it difficult to locate the capital because of intense pollution! I will have to request each of you to help by looking out of your windows and try to locate any familiar landmarks!”

“Yes, yes! I can see my house from here!” shouted an excitable Mrs Kapoor, as she waved to something she had seen below.

“Mrs Kapoor, what you are pointing to is the Taj Mahal, and though we know every romantic on this flight would love to be enshrined in those beautiful portals, we are looking for more definite landmarks than that… Yes, I see you putting up your hand, passenger in seat 14 A?”

“Captain I can see people buying and selling horses below, I think we must be very close to the capital!”

“Thank you sir, but horse trading isn’t happening only in the capital, it is a continuous activity going on in Karnataka, and is a state hobby in Goa, and has picked up recently in Maharashtra, so sir, you will need a more accurate guide for us to land than that! Ah, madam you in seat 15G, you are very excited?”

“There! There! I can see both of them. It must be the capital, where else would both of them be sitting and strategizing and plotting, all day long. Come pilot, I think you can land your plane safely here!”

“Ma’am please put on your glasses while peering out, what you see are just clouds, and I do see the resemblance between the white beard and the cumulus cloud, though even in my wildest imagination I cannot understand how you thought the next cloud was a bald head!”

“Captain! Captain! There it is!”

“What sir?”

“The capital! Can’t you see cars driving on the wrong side of the road, robberies taking place, and a general law and order problem?”

“You think it’s the capital because the police are on strike?”

“Yes captain, see below, they’re stringing up a man, and look at those fellows running after that young woman?”

“No sir, this is not because the police are on strike, this is a normal scene for the last few years, and could be anywhere in the country immaterial of whether the police are on strike or not!”

“Sir, sir, please go back to the cockpit, there seems to be an emergency!”

“What is the emergency airhostess, we are trying to locate the capital of the country, can there be a bigger emergency than that?”

“Sir, there are Chinese warplanes outside!”

“My dear flight steward, those are not warplanes, those are snooping devices hovering over the capital, trying to intercept and decipher WhatsApp messages of opposition leaders and others. We have certainly reached the capital! This is exactly where we have to land…!” 

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.